I wrote to the CPS some time ago with arguments for having various sections of the guidance for the Obscene Prosecution Act removed considering how the attitudes of society have progressed since the act was created fifty years ago.
I have received a letter stating that my arguments will be considered during the next consideration of the CPS's guidance in October.
Cross your fingers and lets see what happens.
Am I switching off?
i'm not sure what's happening to me. i've got a feeling that i know why ... lack of activity, lack of involvement, lack of fun ... i mean ... i'm not even forty and i'm feeling like a toy left on the shelf. i feel like i should go get my slippers and put my feet up in front of the TV until the reaper decides it's time to move on.
Is this all i am? Is this all i'm worth? Is this all i mean to anybody? i'm a transsexual; that's enough to keep anyone well away from me. Time to wake up. There is no knight in shining armour for this worthless wench. God ... do me a favour ... shoot me now.
Is this all i am? Is this all i'm worth? Is this all i mean to anybody? i'm a transsexual; that's enough to keep anyone well away from me. Time to wake up. There is no knight in shining armour for this worthless wench. God ... do me a favour ... shoot me now.
Our Home Secretary is an idiot...
Here we go again. I listened to our Home Secretary on TV this morning and she was in true politico speak flow. Some of the sentances she said didn't even make sense; she said that she wasn't going to apologise for having one of the toughest child offender laws in this country. That said to me she's switched off the subject and is pushing politics.
The problem with removing someones passport is that it is an infringement of rights. It is up to the receiving country to say, "We don't want you." Not only that, there is nothing that stops non-national offenders from coming to THIS country. All this does is concentrate the sex offenders within our own borders and put our own children at hightened risk. Idiocy of the highest proportions, yet again. WHO is responsible for what is coming out of the Home Office these days?
I have previously quoted Mr Brian Kellett, writing under the name of Tom Reynolds in the book, “Blood, Sweat and Tea.”...
“Imagine, if you will, getting sent to a job where a 15-year old boy is threatening suicide. You turn up at the address and discover that it is a care home. Meeting with one of his carers she hands you a list of the boy's medications and it reads like a, “Who's Who” of psychiatric drugs. You talk to the boy and he seems calm, collected and very polite. He explains that he wants to jump out of a window and kill himself, and agrees that he would like to go to hospital. You take him in to the paediatric department of a local hospital. As this does not feel like the normal, “Teenager wants to kill themselves” you have a chat wit the children's nurse and you ask them to let you know what happens to the patient. You leave and continue with your shift. The next day you ask the children's nurse about the patient and she tells you, “The boy wanted to die because he wants to have sex with, and kill small children – and that he knows that it is wrong.
I hate paedophiles as much as any other member of society, but in front of me that day, I saw a victim.”
... punishment is getting harder, but where is there an actual route and research towards stopping the drives of sex offenders to be attracted to child offending? I'm transsexual, and I know there is no, "cure," ... I have walked in the psychiatric wards where the walls bear the marks of the electrocution equiment that was supposed to cure us ... it couldn't work ... it didn't work ... but there were other ways. I live a good life, have a job, support my household and work artistically ... why isn't our government working towards a method of giving these people avenues of control which doesn't involve actual abuse of children?
Our society is pathetically hell bent on persecution ... just line the offenders up against the wall and give them a good stoning ... that seems to be all that is on our democratic, intellectually advanced, socially progressive minds.
The problem with removing someones passport is that it is an infringement of rights. It is up to the receiving country to say, "We don't want you." Not only that, there is nothing that stops non-national offenders from coming to THIS country. All this does is concentrate the sex offenders within our own borders and put our own children at hightened risk. Idiocy of the highest proportions, yet again. WHO is responsible for what is coming out of the Home Office these days?
I have previously quoted Mr Brian Kellett, writing under the name of Tom Reynolds in the book, “Blood, Sweat and Tea.”...
“Imagine, if you will, getting sent to a job where a 15-year old boy is threatening suicide. You turn up at the address and discover that it is a care home. Meeting with one of his carers she hands you a list of the boy's medications and it reads like a, “Who's Who” of psychiatric drugs. You talk to the boy and he seems calm, collected and very polite. He explains that he wants to jump out of a window and kill himself, and agrees that he would like to go to hospital. You take him in to the paediatric department of a local hospital. As this does not feel like the normal, “Teenager wants to kill themselves” you have a chat wit the children's nurse and you ask them to let you know what happens to the patient. You leave and continue with your shift. The next day you ask the children's nurse about the patient and she tells you, “The boy wanted to die because he wants to have sex with, and kill small children – and that he knows that it is wrong.
I hate paedophiles as much as any other member of society, but in front of me that day, I saw a victim.”
... punishment is getting harder, but where is there an actual route and research towards stopping the drives of sex offenders to be attracted to child offending? I'm transsexual, and I know there is no, "cure," ... I have walked in the psychiatric wards where the walls bear the marks of the electrocution equiment that was supposed to cure us ... it couldn't work ... it didn't work ... but there were other ways. I live a good life, have a job, support my household and work artistically ... why isn't our government working towards a method of giving these people avenues of control which doesn't involve actual abuse of children?
Our society is pathetically hell bent on persecution ... just line the offenders up against the wall and give them a good stoning ... that seems to be all that is on our democratic, intellectually advanced, socially progressive minds.
Odd people...
One of the things i've had to do a few times now on IC is tear a supposed Master off a strip or three. You know the type, they order you around as if they already owned you and started coming on heavy, demanding that you fulfil their every whim regardless of how it might affect others who have an interest, or even the other people immediately around you who definatley haven't and wouldn't want any interest in the events.
Well, i've now encountered another twist with one of them. After things getting heated only two weeks prior, He tried to contact me again seemingly having forgotten the discussion only a fortnight prior. What IS on some peoples minds?
Well, i've now encountered another twist with one of them. After things getting heated only two weeks prior, He tried to contact me again seemingly having forgotten the discussion only a fortnight prior. What IS on some peoples minds?
Buying a car
The meeting last night went as well as i could have expected. A solid man with purpose, a good deal of life under His belt, driven and focussed. He made a good point about the process of meeting people, however. It felt as if He was buying a car.
There isn't a lot that i can say about the process of vanilla meeting beyond that it is a required test to see if personalities click or not. Call it mechanical, call it unfeeling, even, but at some point a meeting has to take place and what better way to talk about things than face to face. Much quicker than going back and forth over a chat system.
From my side, it is a necessary effort and worth going through the barrier of awkward feelings, as well as putting up the time and the fuel costs. Sometimes it can also act as a protection against the people who have no intention of actually making good on their promises and chat. More than once have i been left in a service station to sample the late evening coffee alone. It has, however, saved me considerable wasted time in chatting on various systems and made more time available for those who are serious in their intentions. Yes, i do mean considerable wasted time ... it is often the most ingenuous who will make considerable demands on someones time once they have got them hooked.
There are plenty of people who are more than willing to waste my time; many who get a kick out of stringing me along ... well i've got news for those people ... you won't get much stringing out of me ... you'll have to put up, or shut up; giving myself to someone for the long term is a serious business and i'm damned if i'm going to treat the issue lightly.
Dragging my feet also isn't fair to other people who have come forward and are as anxious to progress as others are to take their time. Whatever i do, or don't do, i can't win, so aproaching the subject of a meeting has to be through a mechanism that may well appear unfeeling and impersonal ... but that is the whole point; to see if anything personal comes from it. It may seem harsh and unfeeling ... but have faith...
There isn't a lot that i can say about the process of vanilla meeting beyond that it is a required test to see if personalities click or not. Call it mechanical, call it unfeeling, even, but at some point a meeting has to take place and what better way to talk about things than face to face. Much quicker than going back and forth over a chat system.
From my side, it is a necessary effort and worth going through the barrier of awkward feelings, as well as putting up the time and the fuel costs. Sometimes it can also act as a protection against the people who have no intention of actually making good on their promises and chat. More than once have i been left in a service station to sample the late evening coffee alone. It has, however, saved me considerable wasted time in chatting on various systems and made more time available for those who are serious in their intentions. Yes, i do mean considerable wasted time ... it is often the most ingenuous who will make considerable demands on someones time once they have got them hooked.
There are plenty of people who are more than willing to waste my time; many who get a kick out of stringing me along ... well i've got news for those people ... you won't get much stringing out of me ... you'll have to put up, or shut up; giving myself to someone for the long term is a serious business and i'm damned if i'm going to treat the issue lightly.
Dragging my feet also isn't fair to other people who have come forward and are as anxious to progress as others are to take their time. Whatever i do, or don't do, i can't win, so aproaching the subject of a meeting has to be through a mechanism that may well appear unfeeling and impersonal ... but that is the whole point; to see if anything personal comes from it. It may seem harsh and unfeeling ... but have faith...
Another meeting
Well, i've got another meeting tonight with a potential Dominant. To be honest, i'm in such a state at the moment that i'm not sure what He'll think of me. i've done the usual safe call set up and everything is in place. Wish me luck.
The progress of the search
So how is the search for a new Master going? Well, to be honest, it is going rather oddly.
Of all the services, i have to admit to only using Informed Consent. i was in on Alt when it started up and it was a great little chat/forum area which gained a good reputation, which all went West when they started charging and things got restrictive. The argument that these things cost is certainly one to consider, but when you think about how long IC has been running and the people that were on it a few years ago ... it is a tribute to them that they have kept the service running without charging.
With regards the search itself, there has been a considerably higher number of Dominants who haven't really got a clue this time around. They don't know what the meaning of the word, "respect," is and don't generally think about things beyond the scene play ... excuse me, this is a life partnership we're talking about here! There is still a core of people, however, who know what the score is and are down to earth and honest about the whole thing.
There is still a considerable number who haven't read my profile properly and suddenly stopped contacting when they learned that i'm transsexual. i don't mind too much; it just proves how much they are interested in the photos rather than the detail.
Last time i had been stood up in service stations and the like, which proves the importance of being careful; using vanilla meets and the safe call system.
Well there is a good chance that i'll be turing up at one of the Brighton munches on the 24th so if you happen to be at the same munch (blackandblue) then there is a good chance you'll bump in to me there and, as i'm only a lowely local government worker, you can buy me an anaesthetic pint of cider to commiserate my decollaring and help me forget the pain; temporarily at least!
Of all the services, i have to admit to only using Informed Consent. i was in on Alt when it started up and it was a great little chat/forum area which gained a good reputation, which all went West when they started charging and things got restrictive. The argument that these things cost is certainly one to consider, but when you think about how long IC has been running and the people that were on it a few years ago ... it is a tribute to them that they have kept the service running without charging.
With regards the search itself, there has been a considerably higher number of Dominants who haven't really got a clue this time around. They don't know what the meaning of the word, "respect," is and don't generally think about things beyond the scene play ... excuse me, this is a life partnership we're talking about here! There is still a core of people, however, who know what the score is and are down to earth and honest about the whole thing.
There is still a considerable number who haven't read my profile properly and suddenly stopped contacting when they learned that i'm transsexual. i don't mind too much; it just proves how much they are interested in the photos rather than the detail.
Last time i had been stood up in service stations and the like, which proves the importance of being careful; using vanilla meets and the safe call system.
Well there is a good chance that i'll be turing up at one of the Brighton munches on the 24th so if you happen to be at the same munch (blackandblue) then there is a good chance you'll bump in to me there and, as i'm only a lowely local government worker, you can buy me an anaesthetic pint of cider to commiserate my decollaring and help me forget the pain; temporarily at least!
Farewell, dear catsuit
This is me in the last pictures of my Phaze cat suit. After the shoot, the sun managed to completely melt the upper part of the body. Fifty quids worth, wrecked so easily. Still, i have the memories that Mark Varley shot of me. Keep an eye on the real bondage web site and i'll have more of these up there once i've got the time to work through the pictures.
Decollared from Master R
How can i explain how i feel? Depressed ... very depressed.
A decollaring is effectively finishing the relationship, and i was decollared from Master R last Saturday. As with the ending of all relationships, the end was seen coming. No ones life stays the same and, for someone like me who doesn't have the option to move in with any particular Dominant or have them move in with me, there is always the chance that their life will change and because their change doesn't carry me in on the tide, i'm left stranded in the ocean while they're beached. End result, it's game over for the relationship.
It's not as if i didn't hang on in there; after the change in Master R's working life, i treaded water for one and a half years; but i have my needs too and He couldn't meet them, so finally with no further change in sight, that was the end of it. When i handed back His ring, i had planned to say, "This ring represents the part of my heart which will always belong to You." but i bottled it; i was close enough to tears as it was and i started to flood after leaving His home.
my ship is floating on the sea of life, no anchor to hold me fast. my emotions are tossing and turning with the waves and i'm a complete and utter mess, so don't expect any thoughtful insights in to life as a submissive/slave from this quarter for a while.
i have friends around me, and very good ones too, but for the record it doesn't do to let a friend become a Master (or Mistress) unless something magic happens ... you know the sort of thing i mean.
For the record, Master R was kind and gentle for the decollaring. He made me a cup of tea and we chatted for a bit; i had questions that i almost clinically needed answers to, so i asked them. However there was a limit to my welcome and i was, "put out on the street," after a comfortable time; He had things to do. He was very kind through the experience ... but even so, endings are always painful, and i still hurt like hell.
A decollaring is effectively finishing the relationship, and i was decollared from Master R last Saturday. As with the ending of all relationships, the end was seen coming. No ones life stays the same and, for someone like me who doesn't have the option to move in with any particular Dominant or have them move in with me, there is always the chance that their life will change and because their change doesn't carry me in on the tide, i'm left stranded in the ocean while they're beached. End result, it's game over for the relationship.
It's not as if i didn't hang on in there; after the change in Master R's working life, i treaded water for one and a half years; but i have my needs too and He couldn't meet them, so finally with no further change in sight, that was the end of it. When i handed back His ring, i had planned to say, "This ring represents the part of my heart which will always belong to You." but i bottled it; i was close enough to tears as it was and i started to flood after leaving His home.
my ship is floating on the sea of life, no anchor to hold me fast. my emotions are tossing and turning with the waves and i'm a complete and utter mess, so don't expect any thoughtful insights in to life as a submissive/slave from this quarter for a while.
i have friends around me, and very good ones too, but for the record it doesn't do to let a friend become a Master (or Mistress) unless something magic happens ... you know the sort of thing i mean.
For the record, Master R was kind and gentle for the decollaring. He made me a cup of tea and we chatted for a bit; i had questions that i almost clinically needed answers to, so i asked them. However there was a limit to my welcome and i was, "put out on the street," after a comfortable time; He had things to do. He was very kind through the experience ... but even so, endings are always painful, and i still hurt like hell.
Respect - or the lack of it
If there is one thing that i can never really get over, it is the complete lack of respect that some blokes out there seem to have. Fortunately for my search for a new Master, i am happy to report that it is not all; but the number of complete prats out there seems to have risen since i last searched a few years ago.
There is an old saying that there are many Masters, but few who can Master. It seems to become ever truer as time goes on.
What i'm talking about are the people who start barking orders at a slave/sub that they don't own. What planet they are on, i don't know, but it certainly isn't Earth. Perhaps it is Gor?
These people are on a similar scale of stupidity as the blokes that think that i really find pictures of their dick interesting. i mean, if i started obeyong all the orders that different Dominants were trying to give me, i'd probably have one foot at the back of my head while dressed simultaniously in a skirt and touser suit with black AND white underwear on and still trying to be naked, telephoning six people at once and whistling Dixie while kneeling in four different slave positions. It just ain't gonna happen, people.
Let's face it, i'm looking for a long term partnership and there is a hell of a lot more to a D/s relationship than me spending my time kneeling on the floor of Your dungeon sucking Your dick. If You can't see beyond that, then i'm certainly not the kind of submissive who is going to obey YOUR orders.
If You want THIS sub/slave at Your feet then You're going to have to work; just like any Dominant should; and show me that You are fully capable of taking care of me, of praising me when i've done right as well as punishing me when i've done wrong. Yeh, dude, You might be the best thing since Harrison Ford with a bull whip, but You'd better also be at least as good at hugging as a big, cuddly, fairground bear, and Your words of wisdom to guide me through the dark valley of life will need to sound as if they are fresh from Ghandi's mouth.
i'm not just looking for someone who can aim a cane straight ... i'm looking for someone with a touch as gentle as satin, to lift my heart and give it a reason to live ... with a mind as strong as steel to keep my mind focussed on the tasks in hand ... with a soul deep enough to give me a reason to live for You ... with a touch so caring and warm as to hold me close and wipe away the tears from my eyes as i cry from the journey of pleasure, pain, torture and trust that You've taken me on ... with a voice so honest and true that, after i've walked the hot coals to hell and back on Your order, that when You say that i've made You proud, that i know You really mean it.
For me to kneel at Your feet, You have to be more than a Master ... You have to be someone who can Master.
There is an old saying that there are many Masters, but few who can Master. It seems to become ever truer as time goes on.
What i'm talking about are the people who start barking orders at a slave/sub that they don't own. What planet they are on, i don't know, but it certainly isn't Earth. Perhaps it is Gor?
These people are on a similar scale of stupidity as the blokes that think that i really find pictures of their dick interesting. i mean, if i started obeyong all the orders that different Dominants were trying to give me, i'd probably have one foot at the back of my head while dressed simultaniously in a skirt and touser suit with black AND white underwear on and still trying to be naked, telephoning six people at once and whistling Dixie while kneeling in four different slave positions. It just ain't gonna happen, people.
Let's face it, i'm looking for a long term partnership and there is a hell of a lot more to a D/s relationship than me spending my time kneeling on the floor of Your dungeon sucking Your dick. If You can't see beyond that, then i'm certainly not the kind of submissive who is going to obey YOUR orders.
If You want THIS sub/slave at Your feet then You're going to have to work; just like any Dominant should; and show me that You are fully capable of taking care of me, of praising me when i've done right as well as punishing me when i've done wrong. Yeh, dude, You might be the best thing since Harrison Ford with a bull whip, but You'd better also be at least as good at hugging as a big, cuddly, fairground bear, and Your words of wisdom to guide me through the dark valley of life will need to sound as if they are fresh from Ghandi's mouth.
i'm not just looking for someone who can aim a cane straight ... i'm looking for someone with a touch as gentle as satin, to lift my heart and give it a reason to live ... with a mind as strong as steel to keep my mind focussed on the tasks in hand ... with a soul deep enough to give me a reason to live for You ... with a touch so caring and warm as to hold me close and wipe away the tears from my eyes as i cry from the journey of pleasure, pain, torture and trust that You've taken me on ... with a voice so honest and true that, after i've walked the hot coals to hell and back on Your order, that when You say that i've made You proud, that i know You really mean it.
For me to kneel at Your feet, You have to be more than a Master ... You have to be someone who can Master.
