Nothing has really changed. The situation is, as it was before, with no further response from Master R. That fact alone depresses me as it lends me to lower my estimation of what i meant to Him, and that upsets me.
i don't know what to make of my feelings. On the one hand, BDSM activity has been sparse while, on the other, a very few odd little things are still firing senses within me. This Asylum Mask from Madame S, for example, is lightly stiring something in the back of my mind.
i've conluded that i've just got to give myself time. Time to get over what has been, and time to build up the strength to venture forth again. i know that if BDSM is in your blood, it can never be removed, but it doesn't feel like it when you're in a position of limbo. However i am aware that those feelings are still there ... and it is only a matter of time. Patience is a virtue.
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